Golden Reign(KAGEHINA)
by kags20
Summary: Hinata is falling. Every morning feels like the last one. Every day gets harder to bear. But what is there to do? Kgeyama struggles every day. To learn. Learn, learn and learn again. It is the only way to become Lord Commander of the Silver Army. Kagehina AU where Hinata is the eldest son of the King and Kageyama is the younger brother of the most experienced soldier in the Army.
1. Prologue-Hinata

Hinata slapped his cheeks with his hands at the same time as hard as he dared to and looked in the mirror. The feeling in his chest was hard to handle, but the fact that he had to go outside was even more difficult to bare. He inhaled deeply, slowly while closing his eyes. He was feeling sick. He didn't worry about that. The feeling always came and went whenever it pleased. He was used to it. So used to it. There were other things to worry about. Today he wasn't good. He wasn't ok. He was able to feel the darkness picking at the corners of his mind. Hinata tried to push it away, but the feeling just tangled itself in his thoughts even more. His head was boiling.

He rushed to the window and opened it with such force that it scared the crows in the tree nearby away. Fresh morning air rushed in filling the room with cold, humid air. Hinata's lungs couldn't keep up with him anymore. He gripped the edges of the window as he leaned out. Tears started pooling in his eyes, blurring his vision. He gasped for air. Panic filled him. The world was crumbling on his frail body. A pit started forming in his stomach. Half of his body was in the room while the other half was hanging outside. He just wanted to fall. Fall into nothingness. Fall and fall until nothing existed anymore. He was scared. Terrified.

Someone grabbed him by the clothes and took him away from the window.

Hinata stumbled and fell to the floor like a sack of rocks. The person in front of him put his hands on Hinata's shoulders, gripping him hard.

"Hey! Take it easy! Try to calm down, ok? Count with me. 1...2...3..."

The voice was cold and distant. It felt like Hinata was underwater. Still, Hinata held on to it. He lifted his eyes and his vision landed on the person kneeling in front of him. Hinata started pulling himself back together. Now all the despair was washed away for a few moments by the surprise.

"Focus!" the voice said harshly.

Hinata blinked twice and all the tears cleared from his eyes. He was able to see a pair of dark blue ones. The eyes of Kageyama Tobio.


	2. Chapter 1-Kageyama

Kageyama was tired. He had stayed up all night reading and taking notes which he later put all over his walls. Things he considered important. Of course he wrote a summary in his notebook. He could always go back to the books and look up the information if need be, but he enjoyed the feeling of scraping on paper. He liked putting the information down on paper. It helped him learn and understand better everything that he read. He loved to open the leather covers, to feel the smell of it, to go through his notes again and again. It represented him. It made him Kageyama.

And it was the only thing that helped him at that moment. He was so utterly bored that the exhaustion was getting the better of him. Everyone was listening to Walder Starkov enumerate a list of things that the medical area of the kingdom was severely missing in most of the poor settlements. It was the third time in a month the damned list was read in the Council Room. And Kageyama couldn't bare to hear it again. Instead, he was trying to recall the 3 rules of warfare from _The Strategy of War_ which he had just finished a few hours ago. The truth was it was kind of difficult to appear interested in the things that were discussed at the meeting with only 2 hours of sleep while trying to recall information that didn't even have time to properly settle in his brain. He was exhausted. Kageyama felt his eyes start watering and he closed them just for a couple of seconds. When he reopened them his glance landed on Hinata Shoyo. And he was starring right back at him. Kageyama raised an eyebrow. It didn't matter how tired he was, he would never back down from a starring contest. For far longer than he originally expected, Kageyama's view was grasped by golden-brown eyes. After what felt like an hour Hinata finally moved his eyes to something behind Kageyama. _Nice try_ thought Kageyama. It was typical. Everyone did that. Still, he felt weary. But he had only slept 2 hours. Of course he was weary. Hinata wasn't the source of his discomfort.

The lack of sleep had definitely become a problem.

Suddenly everyone got up from their seats and started scattering away. Kageyama blinked with confusion. When did two hours pass so fast? He barely got to form a few coherent thoughts. And stare a little at the crows in the tree outside. Maybe a little more. He got up from his own chair and looked around the room for his bigger brother. Sugawara was nowhere to be found. _That's what happens when I come in late_ he thought. There would be no places near his brother. He had to seat wherever there was an empty chair. At least he got to sea the Council Room from all angles possible.

He started making his way towards the door when a guard entered his visual field. Kageyama stopped abruptly and looked at the man. He was taller than Kageyama, but not by much, though the rest of his body was larger in every way. Bigger muscles, bigger jaw, bigger mouth, bigger shoulder frame. Bigger everything.

Kageyama raised both of his eyebrows at the guard and waited for him to speak.

"King Hinata wants to see you" the man said.

Kageyama's eyebrows fell at the statement. What in damnation could he want from him? Never in his life has Kageyama spoken directly to the King. The only moments when he got to be near him were the Council Meetings and the rare opportunities when he found himself in the same room with his brother who was talking to the King. He had no direct obligations to him.

"Why?" asked Kageyama prudently.

"You are to find out when you will see him." the guard responded.

He didn't have a choice. He took a deep breath. But that wasn't enough. The situation was strange. He truly hoped that the King had something to say related to his work. That he would give him the chance to prove himself. But the truly strange thing would be if the King even had any idea about Kageyama's intentions. The only possibility for him to find out that Kageyama wanted to become Lord Commander of the Silver Army was if Sugawara had told him. And it seemed more likely for the 10 Gods to get down from their thrones and visit him than Sugawara speaking good of his brother, especially to the King.

The guard started moving, so Kageyama followed him, daydreaming of the impossible.


	3. Chapter 2-Hinata

As soon as his father gave the word, Hinata was the first one to jump from his chair and leave the Council Room. He tried to contain himself, but after he passed the big wooden doors he started running for the back exit of the south wing , heading towards the sables. He already missed Rakasa even though he had last seen her only a day before. He loved her. She was probably the creature which he cared for the most in that twisted world.

He passed servant after servant, each and everyone one of them bowing at his sight. Hinata payed no attention to them. It has been like this for his entire life. If there ever has been a moment when he felt awkward about all the attention he was getting he couldn't remember it. He had simply learned how to ignore the unimportant people. That included everyone except for his sister and his father when there was no other choice.

After he finally passed the crowded area he entered the small forest that was separating the stables from the castle. There was a cobblestone alley that was so muddy and stepped on that it was barely visible. It's purpose was to prevent people from getting lost, but Hinata didn't need it. He was able to reach the stables with his eyes closed. He had actually tried it on multiple occasions when he was running away from his tutor or was simply bored. Most of the times he would end up running into a tree, he even pocked his left eye in a branch once, but in the end he was able to go through the forest both ways without opening his eyes. He was proud of that.

When he caught sight of the stables he started running once more. It was late morning so the place was quiet. The only sounds were the heavy breaths of the gigantic animals and their occasional neighing. The wind was furiously making it's way through the cracks, whistling between the horse's legs. It was peaceful. The smell of fresh hay and leather was intoxicating. Most people complained about it, said it was gross and it made them sick. Hinata couldn't understand that. He would wear the clothes he had ridden in through the halls of the castle and everyone would crook their noses and turn their heads away, sometimes even tell him to change if they dared. He never listened. He tried not to care about their disapproval.

Hinata made his way to the back of the secondary stable and found his beloved Rakasa sticking her head out of her box. Her mane was all tangled up and full of hay and her face full of dust, not white anymore . He couldn't understand how it was possible for a creature to make such a mess of themselves in less than a day. Hinata smiled at his mare and went for the brushes. There were plenty of people whose jobs were to do just that, but Hinata never allowed it. It didn't matter if he was sick and couldn't ride. He would get out of bed and drag himself to the stables to clean Rakasa. She was more than his responsibility. She was his soulmate. He loved her. Hinata got her out and started brushing her. He started with the tips of her mane and made his way up to the roots, than moved to her sinewy neck. Before he realised he was picking the dirt from her hooves. When he was pleased with his work he got the saddle pad and placed it high on her back, than the saddle over it. He grabbed the rope he had been using for the past 2 years, got it over her head and lead her to the small ladder outside. Most riders were able to get in the saddle by themselves but Hinata was short. Very short. Yet there was no rider at the court who was able to ride without a halter. He had learned how to ride with one but later realised that a piece of metal would be painful for anyone to have in their mouths while someone was yanking at it, for a horse included. So he decided to find a new way, one which didn't put pressure on the face at all. He was using the rope to put pressure on Rakasa's neck. With his legs pushing and his body weight added he was able to gain full trust and control of his partner.

He grabbed the neckrope and moved his hips slightly forward. That was enough. Rakasa started walking and Hinata put pressure on his knees in order for her to go faster. When he couldn't see the barn anymore he pushed her to a slow trot. In no time he was galloping through the woods, jumping over the broken branches laying on the cold ground. It was the beginning of the winter so the trees were naked of their leafs, the wood looking like a cemetery of nature. The air was stinging his face but otherwise he didn't feel the cold. He was so full of exaltation and happiness he thought he could fly. He was riding at the top of the world.

After half an hour he decided it was time for a break. He found a clearing and got off Rakasa's back and went to find a lower branch on which he could put her saddle on. He liked to let his mare relax a bit and let the air dry her slightly wet back before continuing his ride. Now the only thing she was wearing was the neckrope. Hinata wasn't afraid she would run off. She never did that except for one occassion when she had got scared by a deer running past them. Hinata had had a though time getting back to the castle and at his arrival he had found her waiting outside of the stables. He didn't worry. He preferred to risk an hour of walking in order for his mare to be completely free for at least 30 minutes a day.

Hinata laid down, his back supported by a large trunk, and tried to think of nothing. He stared at the gray sky and took a deep breath once, twice, but inevitably ended up drifting towards negative thoughts. For the millionth time he asked himself what was wrong with him. And came to the same answer. He was wrong. He was broken. Since the beginning he has been broken. He had never had a chance. Hinata remembered a moment from his childhood. His mother was chasing him through the gardens while he was shouting with joy. He had eventually got tired and laid under a tree looking through the leaves hanging from the thick branches. His mother laid near him and rapped him in her arms. He could feel her smiling down at him. Then all of a sudden such sadness and despair hit him he could barely breath anymore.

Back then the intensity of that feeling had been to much for him. He had ended up with tears streaming down his face, his mother worried, but most of all, she seemed sad. She had taken him to the kitchens and asked the cook to bake a cake filled with all the honey he could find while she told him stories of brave commanders who had taken big risks to save the kingdom and fearless soldiers who had bravely died in battle. Those stories were supposed to be beautiful stories, full of adventure, but all Hinata could fell was more sadness. Now he was able to contain himself. He was able to bottle up all that nothing, all that darkness and go through each day. But there were times when he just couldn't stand, couldn't get out of bed, couldn't bath. In those days he just laid in bed with his curtains shut trying to just hold on. He also had moments when he thought he could conquer the world, when he would jump around like a child, run all around the castle, talk to people that only a day before he had ignored. Sometimes it felt like he was running towards his death.

Rakasa came to him and pushed her head in his shoulder. Hinata looked up and saw her eager to run, moving her tail and stomping her hooves on the hard ground. He got up and put her saddle back on, then mounted. He left his thoughts behind as he cantered away, but his mood was completely destroyed now that he had allowed himself to relax even for a bit.


End file.
